In my quest to better understand what I need to tackle to become a bit more relaxed again, I came across lots of interesting propositions as to what I could be 'suffering' from:
1. Chronically Disorganized.
Yes, clutter and chaos have a name now (never forget: giving names to things makes them manageable and tangible)! Everybody who feels buried by clutter, keeps missing appointments, and seems to never be able to find things ("I am certain it has to be here somewhere...") could apparently be suffering from Chronic Disorganization.
But after scanning the "Are-You-Chronically-Disorganized-test" my conclusion is: "No, I'm not suffering from Chronic Disorganization, but I definitely know people who do!"
So for all of those people:
Tips for Overcoming Procrastination for the Chronically Disorganized Individual or Household
Time Management for the Chronically Disorganized
and maybe illuminating for perfectly organised people:
Tips for Communicating with the Chronically Disorganized
There was one of these tips though that resonated with me and hinted at a slightly different diagnosis for me:
"Perfection is the worst enemy of good enough"
That quote hits something. I always associated perfectionism with being meticulous and focussing on details, but I am coming to see that perfectionism has many disguises. For me it properly has to do with being "effective and efficient". You don't have to be a HR professional or manager to grasp the need of working efficiently and effectively (crash course for who really doesn't: Efficient: doing things in the right or best way / Effective: doing the right things)
But how do you know if you are efficient and effective (E&E)? Is there a limit or quota on it? What is the amount of output which makes me E&E? What is my work limit, how much can I take and still be E&E? I simply don't know.
I want to be E&E, but in turn it worries and nags me. "Should I be doing this, or should I be doing that? And now or later? Does this make me E&E?" or to be more specific:
"Can I, from an E&E point of view, justify that I am currently writing this blogpost at home or should I hurry off to work and stare at my screen in the hope a solution pops up for the project I am kind of stuck on?"
I don't know!
But there is one final diagnosis left. Perfectionistic, yes, that is probably the case, but how about being a procrastinator? Let's find out! Another test! The verdict? Apparently I am an Overdoer, followed by being a Dreamer and ADD. Adds up indeed: wanting too much, distracted and excited by new impulses, rush of energy at the start of things, but resentful, restless and procrastinating when it comes to seeing it all through and details.
One final good thing about my results: it apparently doesn't really show when I am actually procrastinating - because I am so frickin' busy all the time. Well, that justifies writing this post then!