Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Revelations (thanks Yoko)

Bless you for your anger,
Its a sign of rising energy.
(transform the energy to versatility and it will bring you prosperity)

Bless you for your sorrow,
Its a sign of vulnerability.
(transform the energy to sympathy and it will bring you love)

Bless you for your greed,
Its a sign of great capacity.
(transform the energy to giving,
Give as much as you wish to take and you will receive satisfaction)

Bless you for your jealousy,
Its a sign of empathy.
(transform the energy to admiration
And what you admire will become part of your life)

Bless you for your fear,
Its a sign of wisdom.
(transform the energy to flexibility and you will be free from what you fear)

Bless you for your search of direction.
(transform the energy to receptivity and the direction will come to you)

Bless you for the times you see evil.
(evil feeds on your support. feed not and it will self-destruct.
Shed light and it will cease to be)

Bless you for the times you feel no love.
Open your heart to life anyway

In time you will find love in you.

You are a sea of goodness,
You are a sea of love.
Bless you, bless you, bless you,
Bless you for what you are.

Count your blessings evry day for they are your protection
Which stand between you and what you wish not.

Count your curses and there will be a wall
Which stand between you and what you wish.

The world has all that you need
You have the power to attract what you wish.
Wish for health, wish for joy,
Remember, you are loved.

The world has all that you need
And you have the power to attract what you wish.
Wish for health, wish for joy,
Remember, you are loved,

I love you

Tuesday, May 29, 2007


Ah the wonderful world of passive-aggressiveness. How often don't we all feel like we want to scream, shout, tear the walls down, smash someone's head in, drive over them, slice their throats or throw them off a cliff just because they AGAIN didn't do the dishes, AGAIN didn't close the door behind their back, AGAIN left the lights on, AGAIN stole a piece of cheese from the fridge, AGAIN 'borrowed' your shoes, AGAIN didn't clean the toilet when they dumped their shit in it or AGAIN made noise till 3 in the morning? Come on! Admit it!

And when it comes to passive-aggressiveness everybody will also be familiar with: The Note. Because we are all so 'civilized' we don't give in to our Freudian primary anger feelings, no, we channel them into something else, a note. Poured in the smallest amount of words and as sarcastically polite as possible we vocalize our inner anger as written testament that we do not tolerate it anymore, that we have reached our limit and that whatever is bothering us must stop now!

This blog is all about notes like that. Some of them are just fantastic, you can feel the anger dripping from every word. Everyday they post a couple of new ones and they are perfect to alleviate your mood! What is more comforting than knowing that there are numerous people who are so much worse off than me. It makes that pile of dishes and the dirty floor in the kitchen much, much more bearable!

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Jia Ren Qu

Do you have that? One particular song which you carry with you everywhere you go? At any point in time it can pop up and it plays in your mind. I have one and it is actually a pretty strange one. I don't know who has seen House of Flying Daggers, but in this movie Zhang Ziyi sings this cute little song called Jia Ren Qu (or The Beauty Song) It is originally a very old Chinese poem. Ziyi doesn't do a very great job singing it, but somehow it has been stuck in my head ever since I have seen House of Flying Daggers and at the strangest of moments it comes into my head and I need to sing it.
Must be a weird sight to behold: a tall white boy singing a strange Chinese song. Here are the lyrics and when you are in my company, listen carefully and you will definitely hear me humming or singing it one day.

Bei fang you jia ren
Jue shi er du li
Yi gu qing ren cheng
Zai gu qing ren guo
Ning bu zhi
Qing cheng yu qing guo
Jia ren nan zai de


A rare beauty in the North...
She's the finest lady on earth
One glance from her, the city falls
A second glance leaves the whole nation in ruins
There is no city or nation that has been
More cherished than a beauty like this

I think that one day it will become the lullaby I will sing to my kids :)

Saturday, May 26, 2007


“Koud he?”
“En zo vroeg voor het seizoen.”
“Zeg dat.”
“Hoeveel graden zou het zijn.”
“Graadje of 5?”
“Oh zou kunnen.”
“Maar schaatsen zal het wel weer niet worden dit jaar.”
“Wie weet.”
“Echte kou kennen we niet meer tegenwoordig.”
“Ik weet nog goed, in mijn jeugd, nou jongen, toen hadden we het koud! Rijp op de binnenkant van de ramen ’s morgens. Tenen verkleumd onder de dekens, je adem die als wolkjes om je heen drijft en je dekbed een dampende haven tegen de kou.”
“’s Morgens de kachel in de keuken weer opstoken om het huis beetje warm te krijgen. Nee, kou kennen we niet meer tegenwoordig.”
“Ik geloof het.”
“Maar toch, vorige week. Vorige week is mijn man overleden en weet je jongen? Ik heb het nog nooit zo koud gehad.”
Allebei blazen ze wolkjes uit.


Het is donker, nu kan het.
“Hou je van me?”
De vraag blijft even hangen.
“Tuurlijk! Hoezo?”
“Waarom zou ik niet van je houden?”
“You tell me.”
"Oh alsjeblieft…”
“Ik mag het toch wel vragen!”
Hij draait zich naar me toe
Hij kijkt naar me zoals hij altijd doet.
Ik durf niet.
“Je mag het altijd vragen.”
Ik probeer een glimlach.
“Dan is het goed”
Ik zie z'n rimpel ineens verschijnen.
“Is er iets?”
Vermoed hij het?
“Nee, doe niet zo raar!”
De snelheid, de stemverhoging; het is er uit voor ik het kan tegenhouden - Leugenaar!
"Waarom vroeg je het dan?”
“Er is niets, ik wilde het je gewoon even horen zeggen.”
“Dat mag lieverd, maar ik ken je.”
Ken je me? Ken ik jou?
“Ik hou gewoon heel veel van je en ik wil je niet kwijt.”
Maar ik ben je al kwijt.
Zijn uitdrukking verzacht.
“Ik jou ook niet, dat weet je toch.”
Hoe kan hij dat nog zo zeggen.
“Tussen ons zit alles nog goed he?”
Ik zie het flitsen, het is alles wat ik nog nodig had.
“Tussen ons is alles super”
Mijn hart breekt.
Het kan niet anders.
Dan breekt ineens de aarzeling door op zijn gezicht.
“Ja toch?”
Ik blijf op mijn rug liggen, stil, ijsnaalden van binnen.
Ik kijk opzij, de aarzeling heeft plaats gemaakt voor angst.
Ik zou niet weten hoe mijn eigen uitdrukking eruitziet, misschien is het wel een spiegel van de zijne.
In de stilte die tussen ons in hangt klinkt ineens
Eén van ons snikt.

Thursday, May 24, 2007


I went to the midnight opening screening of Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End. You all know by now that Adelaide isn't the most vibrant of cities, but nevertheless it was a full house at the cinema. Ben and me were even condemned to some pretty bad seats! When I was scanning the audience I came to the conclusion that it was full of bogans (probably all unemployed, who else is able to go to the midnight screening of a 3-hour movie besides students and people with no jobs!) throwing popcorn and burping (not kidding)

But we were there for the movie, so how was it?! Unfortunately it was "mwah". Of course it was actionpacked, an exhilarating roller coaster ride, but with too many bumps and weird jumps. This third installment introduced around a dozen new characters which were not really important and instead of adding to the plot, they obscured it. With a solid 3 hours it had way too many almost-endings and climaxes and around two-thirds in the movie you start to think: "I can't take more! For the love of God - kill the dramatic music, put those swords away and silence those cannons!!" but then the amazing end battle starts and you admit: "Alright, just a little bit then"

Pirates 3 is definitely the weakest of the 3, but if you want swashbuckling spectacle it is still a must. Not in the least because Jack Sparrow is still, well.. Jack Sparrow (and wait till you meet his family ;)

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

I have to admit...

I was skeptical. Rihanna's new single "Umbrella" didn't get me really hooked, but I have to admit that the album is great. It is R&B Pop all the way with catchy tunes and breaky beats with of course the occasional ballad, but believe it or not, they are actually quite enjoyable as well!

So click once more and listen!

Also added to the music pool is something from a more indie side of things. The single from Feist's new album. Cute is the word here and I think you will all agree after hearing and watching One Two Three Four:


I feel scared now that it is actually about to happen. Weeks of anticipation and careful planning all let to this moment. How can he be so at ease? He looks so.. ready, a little frown on his brow, deep in thought. I can't keep silent, I have to talk.
"Have you ever done it?"
He looks up, surprise written on his face.
"Of course!"
"So, what is it like!"
He chuckles.
"Well you are about to find out yourself soon enough."
"Oh come on! I just want to know what it feels like - I'm curious" and after a short hesitation "and a bit scared"
A grin grows on his face.
"Yeah I can see that."
"Forget it, never mind"
He stretches out his hand and softly squeezes my shoulder. "He, it is supposed to be fun, I'm sorry, I was just trying to be funny. I'll tell you what it feels like if that eases your mind" I look skeptically at him "Don't give me that look!" I keep looking. "So?"
"Alright, alright! What does it feel like. I think that I would describe my first time as exhilarating. It gave me the feeling that every fiber and muscle in my body was singing with tension, excitement and anxiety. Your senses broaden, time slows down, everything becomes clearer, light brighter and somehow you can see every detail around you. Your heart pumps like crazy, the blood rushes through your body and you feel free. Free from space and time, one with the universe"
He laughs loudly "Yes, exactly that - and now it is your turn!"
I feel the rush coming, he was right. Anxiety and excitement, the fear and hunger for what is coming next. My heart beats, I can feel my breathing becoming louder and heavier - this is it!
"Are you ready?" he asks with that radiant smile
Oh hell yes!
"I am"
"There we go then!"
He slides open the door and we fall into the sky

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

What next?

The last 2 weeks I have done next to nothing on my thesis. Terrible, don't you think? I spend large amounts of my time just staring at a big word document in which I change the odd word here and there, but mostly scroll up and down and read things over. A big pile of articles and books is lying besides my laptop and I leave through them, marking a few passages, but that's it.

And you know why? Because secretly I don't want to be finished yet. It's scary! Freedom awaits: no more books, no more articles, no more lectures, I can go and do what I want, where I want. But what do I want and where do I want it? A job? A PhD? More traveling? Experience living and working in another country again? What about a place to live? Living with Ak & Jan is of course no drama, but not ideal either. It is all just a bit uncertain and it all starts when that thesis is signed, sealed, delivered and I'm graduated. I guess it is this feeling that makes so many near-graduates postpone their thesis over and over again.

But then again.. after I finish there will also be a few months of fantastic traveling with Job and Astrid lying ahead of me and that will be the drive for these last grueling weeks of writing. Leaving those worries for when I am back in NL.

Monday, May 21, 2007

yoga newsflash

I did it!

Yesterday during yoga class I made a full split with one leg in front and one back! How do you like that! Ok.. it took some grunts and moans, but I made it flat to the ground. Bend and snap!

next step: legs in my neck ;)

Thursday, May 17, 2007


Moms are great,

Yesterday both Aki and I received a parcel sent by them. What I got? Read previous post, I've already devoured it. Aki on the other hand got a whole bunch of make-up and clothes, but also something for me! She got me geta. "WTF are geta??" Well, geta are Japanese thongs. They look like logs which you bind under your feet, superfunny. I'll put a picture up soonish :)


Sequel to Schijnbewegingen:

read it -period-

Monday, May 14, 2007

Tori is back


Tori Amos has a new album out and it is as weird as ever! American Doll Posse, now available for download ;)

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Beperkt Houdbaar

[Link from Laura]

After this link you will find the Dutch documentary: Beperkt Houdbaar. I don't know if it has been shown on Dutch television as well, but it was truly fascinating.

The docu is a testament against the beauty and cosmetics industry. It doesn't tell anything new: we all know that beauty products don't really work, that being slim is the ideal and that every photo we see around us has been photoshopped. Although we all know this, the documentary shows that even with this knowledge our perception is gradually shifting to a place where being normal is not an option.

By constantly taking her own body as the reference point, the documentary maker shows us how far this is going. For example: she has a perfectly normal and defined figured with a pretty face, but when she visited a (American) plastic surgeon. I was staggered to see that when she asked him what could be improved on her, the plastic surgeon immediately turned the could to a should: "You are definitely a candidate to undergo this and this operation." He talked to her as if she was a lost case and needed serious help (from him of course). Most of all she was definitely a candidate for vaginal rejuvenation and a inner vagina lip re-sculpting (or whatever he called it) In short he listed 3 different operations which needed to be done on her vagina - so she could finally have that Ideal Playboy Vagina which every girl wants - and it would only cost around 8000 dollar per operation.

You need to watch the final 10-15 minutes (all in English with Dutch subtitles, so everybody can watch) to see what people like that plastic surgeon and the unrealistic images around us are forcing upon us (especially women) and how normal is becoming abnormal.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Did you know?

[link from Neatorama]

I'm ready for it :D

Sunday, May 6, 2007

internet is dead

just a short message from behind the neighbour's computer:

our internet is dead! For days we are trying to survive without and you can imagine what a struggle that is! We are thrown back into the Dark Ages where we need to amuse ourselves with board games, lots of reading, cinema visits and poker nights.

Pray for us!