(stolen from BoingBoing)
What a cool idea: Talking Tapes! They are little tie-strip like plastic thingies which have little perforations and ridges on them, which when plucked by for instance your finger nail, talk back to you! You need to amplify the sound however, but by sticking one end in your mouth you can make them resonate inside your skull, how nice.
Speaking of putting stuff in your mouth - have a look at what 200 calories look like.. Loose the bacon next time I would say. Oh and in case you were wondering: yes.. people do use semen to cook, valuing it for its high amount of proteins. It is even a favourite among vegans, which kind of makes sense, it is given completely voluntarily and no harm comes from its production - I say: live and let live.